Monday, November 19, 2007

Still Intubated - Still in ICU

Exercise in Letting Go and Letting God

To say I'm frustrated is an understatement.

I talked to our hematologist and the pulmonary physician and expressed my extreme desire to get out of ICU. I believe they heard me. It is just in their opinion that she is just not ready to be able to breath on her own and cough up junk on her own. They believe that she would quickly deteriorate and be worse than where she is today. This isn't what I wanted to hear.

This isn't the way I want things to go. I am sorely tempted to try to force a solution by putting more pressure on the docs, techs, etc. But I doubt if that would help. And I possibly could make things worse and be unhelpful.

So I get to let go and let God. God has the situation in hand; He knows what is going on and will continue to monitor the situation much better than any ICU flashy monitors or buzzers.

I am choosing to trust His will and will wait until another day to see Trudie leave the ICU.

1 comment:

Paul said...

Hang in there Patrick. I know it is hard. You are doing what you can. You are entitled to your feelings. You've been incredible through all of this. Progress, not perfection. One day at a time. One minute at a time. God is near. He cares for you both and loves you both. It's good for you to be honest about how you feel. And it is okay if you get really, really frustrated and let some folks know it. I wish I could take away both of your pain. I wish I could give you peace. You will find it. Draw near to Him.